Identity

Our sexuality is that part of us expressed through our sexual activities and relationships. It is represented in our feelings, behaviours and our sexual identity.

A person’s sexual identity is how they choose to describe their sexuality. They may choose a label like gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer, asexual or one of many others.

Some people also choose not to label their sexuality. Everyone expresses their sexuality differently with various levels of diversity. It is completely normal for people’s sexuality and sexual identity to change across their lives.

“Sexuality is a central aspect of being human throughout life and encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles and relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them are always experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, ethical, legal, historical, religious and spiritual factors.”

Source: World Health Organization (WHO) Draft working definition, October 2002

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Sexual diversity comes in many forms

Everyone is different in how they choose to express their sexuality. More and more these days, people will not define their sexuality with a label, but choose to ‘take it as it comes’ or ‘do what feels right at the time’, trusting their feelings and not letting labels determine their choices.

Many people feel a label or name for their sexuality is useful in describing themselves to other people, others don’t.

It is important to do whatever feels right for you (so long as no one will be unsafe or at risk) and identify with what feels comfortable for you. It’s okay to take your time figuring out what does feel right for you too. It’s okay to be unsure, and it’s normal to be confused while you’re figuring things out. 

Our romantic orientation is the part of us expressed through romantic feelings and relationships. For many, romantic and sexual feelings and relationships are closely linked, but for others, they’re very different things.

For example, a person who identifies as asexual may still desire and enjoy romantic relationships, and may identify as homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic, or aromantic, among other identities. Individuals may or may not choose to use labels like this to define their romantic orientation – everyone is different.

A person’s gender (or lack thereof) can include how a person, thinks, feels, acts, dresses and speaks. A person’s gender can be masculine, feminine, both, androgynous, neutral and many other combinations. A person’s gender identity can be fluid or static, and everyone expresses their gender differently with various levels of diversity.

Gender diversity comes in all forms; from trans men or trans women, to people who identify outside of the man-woman binary. Indeed, by simply being attracted to the same gender we are breaking society’s gender stereotypes and expectations, but this can be far more accepted and visible in society than what the trans community experience. We know that being trans or gender diverse is not easy so support and information are really needed

Transitioning doesn’t look any ‘one’ way

Within the trans community, there is a wide range of identities, expressions and experiences. Because of that, there are many different ways you may choose to affirm your gender.

There are different ways of transitioning, including:

• Social affirmation
• Legal affirmation
• Medical affirmation

They are all multifaceted and look different to each person. One person might just want to change the way they dressing, while someone else may wish to access hormones or undergo surgery. Some people may change their name legal or get vocal training or come out, or none of those things.

There is no ‘right’ way to transition. It’s about following the path that best works for you. Check out TransHub for more information.

Follow the path that’s right for you

What’s most important is that you do what feels right for you; not what others tell you is or isn’t OKAY. We often feel the pressures of society to either be male OR female, but it’s OKAY if you have characteristics of both or neither.

Many people have both or neither masculine AND feminine traits, but we are taught to believe that we can only be one or the other. When you hear these sorts of messages and don’t feel you fit into them, it can be easy to think that you are not OKAY and that you are the only one that feels like that.

But there are many people, especially in the LGBTIQ+ community who do not fit gender expectations in all sorts of ways, and there are many people who have transitioned and lead happy lives in their true gender.

​ At Freedom, while people who are gender diverse are welcomed and appreciated in any session, we have sessions just for trans and gender diverse young people to hang out, be themselves in a safe space and talk about all things genderqueer! It’s called GenderQ

People with intersex variations are born with physical sex characteristics that deviate from being ‘typically’ male or female. These characteristics can include variations in chromosomes, hormones, and genitalia, and it is estimated that intersex variations are present in around 2% of the population.

There is a huge range of presentations and experiences or being intersex, and intersex variations may become apparent before or at birth, during puberty, or in adulthood, and some people may never realise they are intersex.

People who are intersex can have the same range of sexuality and gender diversity as people who are not intersex. For some people, their intersex variation is part of their identity, while for others it’s more of a body difference. For more information about what it means to be intersex, visit Intersex Human Rights Australia.